I’m flying to Berlin tomorrow, to do a shoot there. I’ll stay in a hotel overnight and I fly back the next day. I’m superhappy and superexcited, but I’m also having a tiny (okay, maybe not so tiny) panic attack.
I know, I’m 25, and an adult, and Berlin is just around the corner if you look at it on a globe and why am I making such a big deal out of this… but fact remains that I’m scared. What if something goes wrong? What if the plane disappears (it happens! you know it does!), or if I forget something really important (like my hotel booking)? What if I get lost? What if I’m late? What if I do a horrible job and everyone hates me and germany hates me?
I barely speak german, and I’ve been trying to figure out the berlin subway system for like an hour now, but all the stations sound alike (schteinuberganzbahnhof or whatever).
I know this sounds like I’m a dramaqueen (and slightly crazy), but this is seriously what’s going on in my mind right now. Perhaps it’s time for some Xanax. Or possibly elektroshock therapy. Or a hug, whatever is available.
But writing this down actually gives me some courage. I’m a big girl. I should put my big girl panties on. And I’m a model, for crying out loud. Everyone knows models have a 6th sense for finding their way around unfamiliar cities (well, according to Tyra Banks). I’m a model on a mission. And it’s going to be awesome and I’ll be awesome and everything will be fine.
But still… could you all just, light a candle or something? Maybe cross a finger or 2, that everything goes well? Pretty please?
I always joke about being a giant… but I have a tiny heart.