Me: WHAT? Are you blind? You mean these chubby sticks? Look at this flabby bit on the side here! I look like one of those squirrels with wings; if they dropped me out of an airplane I could probably fly my way to safety with these saddlebags! And don’t get me started on my flabby knees, yuck! If they get any flabbier I will have to start using tape just to keep them in the right place. And have you seen my calves? The hulk is jealous of them! He’s calling me every day to ask me what workout I do to get them so big and manly! Nono, you’re insane, I really don’t have nice legs. Your legs are super pretty though!
Okay, I admit, the situation above is slightly exaggerated, but not as much as I would have liked it to be. A lot of women have troubles accepting a compliment without starting a lecture on why the compliment is completely not true. And it’s not just bodies, either. Remember last time someone sad something nice about your outfit, and you were all like “oh, thanks… It’s really old,I got it on sale somewhere, it was supercheap but it does a good job of hiding my fat thighs”?Exactly.
Is it possible that a couple of thousands of years ago, there was a REALLY hot cavewoman who had a geneticdysfunction that made it impossible for her to receive compliments? But because she was hot, everyone wanted to be with her, so she had a bunch of babies and her genetic material got spread out over the globe and now there’s about a billion women who are genetically incapable of receiving a compliment? Something like that?
Or maybe we just find it hard to believe that someone honestly, genuinely likes something about us (what are the odds, right?). Or we’re afraid they’ll think we’re arrogant and self-obsessed if we accept it.
I say we all break this circle! Whenever someone compliments you, resist the urge to start saying something negative. I mean it. It doesn’t make you look modest, it doesn’t make you cool. It’s just really annoying. And you’re punishing the person who tried to compliment you with your behavior. They were trying to make you feel better, but instead they now have to deal with this insecure person with verbal diarrhea going on and on about how they hate their forehead.
Don’t go overboard either: “yes, thanks, I love my legs too! They are so fabulous, I could just stare at them all day! Would you like to touch them? Come on, you know you want to!”. Just take a deep breath, smile, and say thanks. And fight the urge to give the obligatory same-compliment response “thanks, you too”, if you don’t mean it. There’s nothing more awkward than blurting out “thanks, I love your outfit too” before you notice they’re wearing crocs and a t-shirt that says “the future Ms. Bieber”. Keep it real!
If you are anything like me, you’ve read it and tried it before: getting “ready” for summer. You can’t pick up a magazine without some sort of “ready for summer?” line in there somewhere. It usually starts very subtle, in the early days of spring, but quickly escalates to a deafening roar mid-june (when everyone is panicking, wishing they had started sooner). Oh yes, it’s definitely that time of the year again.
Getting ready usually involves some sort of bootcamp-like training regime (of course they promise you you can get the perfect body with just 10 minutes of light exercise a day… but come on, you’re smarter than that. If it were that easy, we’d all be doing it!), a new bikini-approved-diet, a total bodywax and 50 shades of tanningproducts.
To this I say: no more. This madness has got to end. Seriously. What happens when you’re not “ready” anyway? Do you get punished somehow? Are you banned to a place where hairy legs, winterweight and white leggings go to die? If I’m not ready, then what am I?
The only thing that isn’t “ready for summer” after reading all those articles year in year out, is my confidence. Time to fix that!
Don’t be afraid to wear a swimsuit just because you don’t have a “swimsuit body”. The easiest way to get a swimsuit body is by putting a swimsuit on your body. That’s really all it takes.
The only way you’ll ever have Kim’s behind, Cameron’s abs or Jennifer’s legs, is if you are Kim, Cameron or Jennifer. While I do believe exercise is a wonderful tool to get in shape, there’s just no way you’ll ever be a shape other than the one you’re born to be. Stop wasting time trying to fit into a shape you’re not meant to have, and start loving the body you have!
is this really how you want to spend your summer?
There are maybe 8 women on the planet who don’t have cellulite or stretchmarks or other imperfections on their body (I know, I’ve counted them). The rest is photoshopped, or have cleverly managed to cover up any imperfections, or somehow always stand in the perfect kind of light that just kisses smoothly over their skin instead of showing every lump and bump (something I’d like to call cellulight).
There is absolutely no need to feel subconscious about something you share with about 3 billion other women. Let it go, you are human, there’s is nothing wrong with you, it’s no big deal.
On the left, a picture of Scarlett Johansson, a beautiful woman. On the right, a picture of Scarlett Johansson in a bikini with some cellulite (the horror!!). Still a beautiful woman.
When you want something you can’t have, it seems like everyone has it. It’s the same with “perfect bodies”; when you’re obsessed about how bad you look, it seems like everyone around you looks perfect. But they have insecurities of their own (even though they shouldn’t either). Maybe they’re looking at you and thinking “I wish I had her boobs, she looks amazing”. Get used to the idea of women in all shapes and sizes wearing swimsuits and summery outfits (google is your friend), so you can detox the habit of thinking everyone looks perfect, and start appreciating the beauty of diversity and imperfections.
picture from stylehasnosize.com
After all, summer isn’t about looking a certain way. It’s about going for a swim with your friends, the sunkissed skin of a loved one, late night walks, icecream, barbecues, bikerides, picknicks, traveling the world or enjoying your own backyard and lots of fun and laughter.
No matter your size, no matter your shape, no matter how “ready” you are… you deserve this. So go get it!