I was tall from the day I was born (literally, I was a huge baby!). That used to really bother me, especially once I hit puberty and I really don’t need yet another thing to be insecure about. But over the years I really learned to love and appreciate my height(all 6’1 of it!). That being said, there are a couple of things I wouldn’t mind missing… A little overview!
1. People assuming you’re good at certain sports.
Believe it or not, being good at sports actually requires skills other than just “being tall”.
2. Getting items off the top shelf.
Ladders are so overrated. But sure, let me get that for you!
3. Clothes are a bitch.
Every skirt is a miniskirt, your wrists are perpetually exposed, pants are always 7/8thlength, shorts tend to look like hotpants and good luck finding a maxiskirt that actually touches the ground.
4. Scanning the surroundings before a group photo.
Group photo! Immediately, you move to the back, next to the tallest person you can find, and do a subtle squat. Sometimes you accidentally end up next to someone really short and you look like an ogre.
5. People stating the obvious.
When you wear heels people comment on how tall you are. Thank you for that groundbreaking piece of information, I really had no idea.
6. Irrational short girl jealousy.
Getting irrationally annoyed when you see a really tall guy with a really short girl. You know it’s totally fine and totally up to them and you’re being ridiculous, but still there’s this voice going “really??”.
7. Trying (but failing) to be elegant.
You always seem to have more body and limbs than there is room. A body your size just doesn’t naturally have that elegant petite cute way of moving shorter girls have. You always bump over things or trip over things you didn’t see – but who can blame you, with your head being so far away from the ground!
8. People who are shorter than 5’10 talking about being tall.
Oh, your cousin is also tall? What’s that? 5’7? Not. The. Same. Thing.
9. superoriginal jokes
If I had a penny for every time someone asked me “how’s the weather up there“…
10. Always standing out
“I just love it when I go to a party and close my eyes and blend in with the crowd and no one notices me” said no tall woman ever.
I’m a big fan of shopping outside the sizebox. That means I hardly ever look at size labels. It works like a charm, once you figure out 2 things: your own body, and the shape, cut and fabric of the garment you want to try on.
So when I spotted a pair of gold highwaisted pants, I just HAD to try them on.
So here I am, trying on the tightest pair of highwaisted pants in the history of tight highwaisted pants… in a size 10 (EU40). Usually that would never work (I normally wear a 14-16 in pants), but these seemed round at the hips and wide at the legs and I have a relatively narrow waist, and they had the tiniest bit of stretch in them so I figured “what the hell, let’s just try it”. AND THEY FIT!
Okay, it took me about 5 minutes of huffing and puffing and jumping across the room. And there was one moment where I was getting a bit worried about cutting off blood circulation, but those are just details.
The important part is that they fit! Victorydance!
But now there is just this teeny problem. I can’t. get. them. off!
I’m not even joking: the zipper won’t budge. I’ve been trying to unzip for the past half hour or so, but it’s not giving me anything. I’ve even tried lubing it with a little bit of butter and olive oil and vaseline, but nothing is happening (I did manage to get vaseline in my hair, like, why?). And I can’t just pull them down either, because they fit snuggly around my waist and I can’t get the waist over my hips.
Why am I sharing this? Well, because in a really sad way it’s just so me. And I’m against the whole idea of fakebook, where people only talk about how perfect and amazing their life is… And my life is pretty great, but it’s also filled with moments like this one, where I trap myself into a pair of glitsy pants. If this was happening to anyone but me, I’d probably think this is superfunny.
But more importantly, I’m running out of ideas!
So I turn to you for answers, interwebz. Help a girl out. I would prefer not to have to cut open these pants and ruin them, so don’t even go there. Any thoughts?