A couple of weeks ago, I deleted the instagram app from my phone and took some distance from my facebookpage. Both of them still exist but I wasn’t keeping up with them anymore.
“Why? I mean, as a blogger, aren’t those channels important?”
Yes, they are! I believe in connecting with the people around me, and sharing what I have to say in an honest and open way. And for the most part, it’s been great. I’m definitely not the biggest blogger in the universe (#understatement), but I have made valuable connectoins with so many of you, and I enjoy listening to your stories and opinions.
But with social visibility and opening up on the interwebz, come a shitload of perverts and trolls. I’m used to hearing I’m ugly and unhealthy and that I’m promoting obesity. I’m used to dickpics and inappropriate sexual comments about my looks. None of that is okay, but I could handle it. And then, I leveled up. Peopole started telling me I should jump of a bridge. People said they hoped I would get a heartattack and die. I got messages saying I should go kill myself.
And to be honest, it frightened me. Not because I was contemplating killing myself, but because the ugly side of the internet hit really close to home all of a sudden. I found myself doubting every post, every pic… and there really is no point in being personal on social media if you’re afraid to post personal things.
So I took a break. Took a step back. Thought about it a lot. And at the end, decided I should just go ahead and get on with it. The reason why people hate this way is because they are hurting in a society that values thinness above everything else, and they are willing to break people for wanting to change that.
Good thing I’m fat then. Fat doesn’t break, it bounces.
I know a lot of people think new year’s resolutions are unnecessary to begin with and you can make a change all year round blablablabla… And while they are not wrong, I don’t see what’s so bad about having resolutions to work on as the new year starts either. If a new year gives you that extra push you need, why not right? So my annoyance with new year’s resolutions have nothing to do with the fact that they exist, but that a LOT of them revolve around weightloss. Unsuccesfully, by the way, since most people give up after a couple of weeks… Only to start again the next year. Pointless much?
If you’re looking to make a positive, longlasting change in 2017, how about taking a look at some of these resolutions?
12 New Year’s resolutions that aren’t about weightloss
I tend to split my resolutions up in various categories (sometimes I’m shockingly organized) like “health”, “fashion” and “selflove” and each year I pick one in each category to work on. In 2016, I wanted to cut back on drinking caffeinated cofee, explore veganism, wear statement outfits more often in real life, and get into an exercise routine that I loved. All resolutions that made a positive impact on my life and made me feel happier. I’m happy to say I ticked all those boxes! I’ll be keeping up the good work in 2017, but let’s have a look at some possible goals for next year!
4 healthy New Year’s resolutions
1. Sleep more – I go to bed at a reasonable hour, but some evenings I grab my phone (damn you pinterest) and end up sleeping 2 hours later than I had planned. Only to be tired and grumpy in the morning… Time for change!
2. Dance – no time to hit the gym, and the thought of exercising exhausts you? You’re not alone. Your relaitonship with workouts may be a tricky one, and I understand that journey takes time sometimes. But remember how you would dance as a kid? As if no one was watching? Time to pick that up again. Forget about the fact that it’s “great cardio”, focus on the fact that it’s great fun. Put on some Destiny’s Child (or whatever tickles your fancy), hit the lights (yeah I have to do this in the dark. I take the “no one is watching” part quite literally!) and shake shake shake for half an hour.
3. Prep your lunch – Now that I’ve joined the workforce, I get how easy it is to go for quick (unhealthy) eating options that are readily available at lunch. I feel so much better when I prep my lunch the night before! Unfortunately, I don’t always do this, but I really want to start picking this up…
4. Walk more – Most of us sleep about 8 hours a day and spend another 8 hours sitting behing a desk. That’s at least 2/3rds of your time, not counting the hours you sit in the car or on the couch at night. So park your car a bit further away, take the stairs instead of the elevator (or get out 3 floors earlier and walk the rest), go for a small walk around the block after dinner…Try to walk daily, even if it’s just 5 minutes. Those little things do help!
4 selflove New Year’s resolutions
5. Compliment people more often – Yes, complimenting others will definitely make you feel better about yourself! Think about it, how any times have you walked past a woman and thought “wow her coat is so gorgeous!” but not said anything? How many times have you read a blog that you thought was really great or powerful and not left a comment? How often does your partner do something nice for you that you realle appreciate, and not let them know? Time to speak up! Acknowledging the good and beautiful in the world will help you see the good and beautiful in yourself.
6. Just say thank you – when someone compliments you, just say “thank you”. Don’t try to diminish their compliment by coming up with random excuses why you don’t really deserve the compliment? (“this dress? It’s so old and I got it so cheap!”). Bite your tongue and feel the joy.
7. Learn to say no – Do you tend to give in to people even though you really don’t want to? Stop it woman. Standing up for yourself isn’t selfish! Ofcourse you can do nice things for others, but if it’s draining you more than it is fueling you, it’s time to cut that nasty habit.
8. Put on bodylotion every day – Not only will it force you to spend 5 minutes on yourself every day (you’d be surprised how many women don’t take 5 minutes for themselves!), but it’s a great way to learn to love your body better. We tend to avoid the areas we don’t like about yourself, but let me tell you… There is no more affective way to learn to love your body than to rub it with lotion for a couple of minutes.
4 fashion new year’s resolutions
9. Get rid of everything that doesn’t fit – You’ve been hanging on to it because, maybe, one day, you’ll fit into it again. That day hasn’t come. It will most likely not come. And if it does come, you won’t want to wear those clothes again (cause your style changes over time). Yes, your closet will probably be a lot emptier, but everything in it will be stuff you love. Imagine how much more fun it will be to get dressed in the morning!
10. Invest in your underwear closet – Even women with super organized closets have a weakness… their underwear! I don’t know a woman who doesn’t hold on to bra’s and undies WAY too long. Doesn’t fit you properly? Undies have holes in them? Not wearing them for whatever reason? Still wearing the same bra you wore when you were 17? Time to go! Yes, I know underwear is expensive, but it’s the foundation of everything you wear and you deserve something that fits the queen that you are. Treat yourself.
11. Wear statement pieces more often – This was my resolution for 2016, and I loved it so much that I wanted to share it J. That dress you wore to a party once? Wear it on a datenight. Those sequined shorts you think are “overdressed”? A shirt and black tights and you’re ready to go shopping for friends. That stunning expensive coat you keep in the closet? Wear it, show it, love it!
12. Wear something that frightens you – Maybe it’s a skinny years, a croptop, a bikini or a skintight dress… We all have those items that we drool at occasionally, thinking “god I wish I could wear that”. The fact that you keep going back to them means that, in your heart, you really really want to. It’s the fear in your mind that’s stopping you. So wear something that scares you a little bit…and feel great in it!